对不起 I'm sorry.
- 噢 没事 - 对不起 宝贝 - Oh, it's okay. - I'm sorry, baby.
- 对不起 - 他妈的肩膀 - I'm sorry. - Fucking shoulder.
继续 Keep going.
这感觉不错 That's helping.
想都别想 Never.
就剪一点 就把前面的剪了 Just a little bit. Just to clean it up.
我不要 I'm not cutting it.
但你短发看起来更帅啊 But you'd look so hot with short hair.
- 噢 是吗 - 是的 - Oh, would I? - Yeah.
- 谢谢 - 不 不 不... - Thank you. - No, no, no...
抱歉 我不是那个意思 Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
你很帅 You are hot.
你是最帅的 You are the hottest.
- 继续 - 你还有你那艳丽 - Keep going. - You and your gorgeous,
茂密的长发 thick, long hair.
- 继续... - 我就他妈的喜欢这么长 - Continue... - I just fucking love the way it's long.
是吗 Yeah?
父亲节快乐 爸爸 Happy Father's Day, Daddy!
孩子们 我们说好了早餐后的 Kids, we said after breakfast.
我想吃蛋糕做早餐 I want cake for breakfast.
哇 巧克力加糖果屑 Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles!
我的最爱 My favorite.
父亲节快乐 Happy Father's Day!
- 快打开 快打开 - 快打开 快打开 - Open it! Open it! Open it! - Open it! Open it! Open it!
我在打开 I am, I am.
我喜欢充满惊喜 I like building up the anticipation.
噢 你们... Oh, you guys...
- 你喜欢吗 - 大爱啊 - You like it? - I love it.
爱死了 I love it.
- 谢谢你们 - 妈妈帮我们一起做的 - Thank you. - Mom helped us.
才没有 这都是你们的主意 No, I didn't. It was all their idea.
- 是吧 孩子们 - 对 - Right, kids? - Right.
- 蛋糕 蛋糕 - 蛋糕 蛋糕 - Cake! Cake! Cake! - Cake! Cake! Cake!
- 好 没问题 - 蛋糕 蛋糕 - Okay, okay. - Cake! Cake! Cake!
蛋糕 蛋糕... Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
噢 看看这蛋糕多好看 Oh, look at that beautiful looking cake!
啊... Ah...
是谁砸蛋糕到怪物上的 Who did this to monster!
噢 你们躲不了怪物的 Oh, you can't hide from monster!
怪物能闻到你们 Monster can smell you!
快跑 怪物来了 Run! Run! Monster's coming!
怪物让孩子们消失了 Monster made kids disappear.
而且... And...
怪物想继续我们刚才做的事 Monster wanna finish what we started.
太晚了 孩子们都起床了 Too late, the kids are awake.
怪物很伤心 Monster sad.
我知道怪物能等到星期一的 I'm sure monster can wait till Monday.
怪物已经等了3个星期了 Monster been waiting three weeks.
是啊 但有小孩还有我的展览 Yeah, but with the kids and my exhibition
我没办法让所有人可以同时开心啊 I cannot keep everybody happy all the time.
怪物不想吵架 Monster doesn't want to start a fight.
好吧 对不起 我也不想 Okay. Sorry, me neither.
我保证 我们吃完这个我马上回来 I promise we'll finish this as soon as I get back.
噢 怪物很开心 Oh, monster happy.
怪物很开心 Monster happy.
怪物非常开心 Monster very happy.
是的 妈妈 Yeah, Mommy.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Gracias. - De nada.
- 全都收拾好了吗 - 对 - Everybody packed? - Yeah.
猴子 乖 Monkey, good boy.
爸爸 为什么我们能带猴子一起去海滩 Dad, why can't we take Monkey to the beach with us?
是啊 你知道他很喜欢海滩 Yeah, you know he loves the beach.
猴子要呆在这陪你们爸爸呢 Monkey needs to stay here and keep your dad company
好让他周末不用那么孤单 so he doesn't stay all alone during the weekend.
- 真不公平 - 敲门声 - That's unfair. - Knock-knock.
嘿 路易斯 Hey, Louis!
嘿 大家 印刷机新鲜出炉 Hey, guys, hot off the presses.
- 怎么了 路易斯 - 说什么 - What's going on, Louis? - What's shakin'?
怎么样了 小伙伴 What's going on, little guys?
韦伯先生 你好吗 Mr. Webber, how are you, sir?
早上好 路易斯 Morning, Louis.
我也想帮你 但我手拿着咖啡 I'd offer you a hand, but all I can lift is this coffee.
噢 原来你就是这样给女孩子留下好印象的 Oh, that's what happens when you try to impress girls in the bat cage.
我不是在调情 我是一个绅士 I wasn't flirting, I was being a gentleman.
是啊 我想她是个可怜又无助的25岁女孩 Yeah, I'm sure she was a poor helpless 25-year-old.
对 很无助 Yeah, helpless.
你们知道这是什么吗 Do you know what this is?
是给爸爸的父亲节礼物 Is it a Father's Day present for Daddy?
不 不 这是妈妈的展览目录 No. No, this is Mommy's catalog.
如果他们这次用对颜色的话 Assuming they got the color right this time.
噢 希望吧 Oh, let's hope.
我觉得他们用对了 I think they did.
这有一点紫红 但几乎完美了 It's a little bit magenta, but it's almost perfect.
- 什么是紫红 - 这颜色 - What's magenta? - This color.
亲爱的 这够完美了 Honey, it's perfect.
妈妈 路易斯可以跟我们一起去海滩吗 Mom, can Louis come to the beach with us?
不 路易斯要留在这工作 No, Louis needs to stay here and do some work.
就像你们爸爸一样 Just like your daddy.
正确 That's correct.
我和你们爸爸今晚要开父亲节派对 Father's Day party that me and your dad are gonna have tonight.
路易斯 嘘 Louis! Shh!
- 噢 走吧 - 你们不是开派对 - Oh, come on. - You're not having a party.
我不是要开派对 I'm not having a party,
我要努力工作 I'm working very hard.
你带上你的枪了吗 Did you pack your gun?
- 带了 - 炸弹带了吗 - Yes. -Did you pack the bomb?
- 带了 - 加农炮带了吗 - Yes. - Have you packed the cannon?
- 带了 - 电锯带了吗 - Yes. - Have you packed the chainsaw?
电锯带了吗 You didn't pack the chainsaw?
天啊 快去拿电锯 Go get the chainsaw, man!
胶合剂还没干 但明天晚上应该可以了 The cement still hasn't dried, but it should be fine by tomorrow night.
但还是非常脆弱 而且那些搬运工在... Still, it's extremely fragile and I don't trust those movers...
搞到画廊一团糟后我就不相信他们了 after the mess they made at the gallery.
对 我会打理好一切 别担心 No, I'll take care of it. Don't worry.
好的 谢谢 我会帮你全部收拾好的 Okay, gracias,I'll have it all packed up for you.
好的 Okay.
这几乎干透了 It's almost dry though.
好 那么把它送到画廊后我再通知你 Yeah, so I'll just text you when it's at the gallery.
不用担心 Don't worry about anything,
都在我控制下 你在海滩过个好的周末 I got it all under control. You have a good weekend at the beach.
玩得开心 我走了 Enjoy yourself. I'm out.
谢谢你 路易斯 Gracias, Louis.
- 韦伯先生 明天见 - 谢谢 - Mr. Webber, I'll see you tomorrow. - Thank you.
我意思是 “今晚”开超级秘密派对 I mean, "tonight" for the super-secret party.
- 路易斯... - 回头见 孩子们 - Louis... - See you, kids.
- 拜 路易斯 - 超级秘密派对 - Bye, Louis. - Super-secret party?
- 超级米米派对 - 好吧 - Super-secret party. - Okay.
这是最后一个了 Is this the last one?
- 你喜欢吗 - 大爱 - You like it? - I love it.
很好 Good.
我觉得它应该大一点 I think it should be bigger.
- 你觉得 - 对 那么我们就有游泳池了 - You think so? - Yeah, then we can get the pool.
好吧 我下次会做大一点 Okay, I'll do it bigger next time.
我告诉维维安明天下午2点 I told Vivian tomorrow at 2:00.
我不需要她治疗了 已经愈合了 I don't need her therapy anymore, it's healing.
跟你的肩膀说吧 Tell that to your shoulder.
爸爸 你真的不能跟我们一起去海滩吗 Dad, are you sure you can't come to the beach with us?
我最爱运动了 I would love nothing more, sport.
但如果爸爸这周末不工作 我们就要搬去住纸皮箱了 But if Daddy doesn't work this weekend, we'll have to live in a box.
你们想搬去纸皮箱住吗 Do you guys want to live in a box?
- 不 - 不 不怎么想 - No. - No. Not really.
我也是 除非是我设计的 Me neither. Unless I designed it.
好了 跟爸爸说再见吧 Okay, say goodbye to Daddy.
拜 爸爸 Bye, Daddy.
跟猴子说再见吧 Say goodbye to Monkey.
拜 猴子 Bye, Monkey.
爸爸 别忘了发你派对的照片上照片墙 Daddy, don't forget to send all your party pix on Instagram.
好的 Okay.
到那里记得打给我 Call me when you get there.
我会的 我爱你 I will. I love you.
- 我爱你 - 我爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
拜 亲们 Bye, guys.
- 拜 - 拜 爸爸 - Bye. - Bye, Daddy.
去理发吧 爸爸 Get a haircut, Dad!
那么 猴子... Well, Monkey...
看来只剩你和我了 孩子 Looks like it's just me and you, kid.
嘿 宝贝 Hey, baby.
房子怎么样 How's the house?
嗨 很完美 Hi! It's perfect.
看吧 孩子们 跟爸爸说声好 Look. Kids, say hello to your dad.
- 嗨 - 哈喽 - Hi! - Hello.
就缺你而已 All it needs is you.
- 我爱你 - 我也爱你 - I love you. - I love you, too.
想你 Miss you.
晚安 Good night.
是谁 Who's there?
麻烦你一下先生 拜托了 Just one second, sir, please.
- 你们 - 可以给我打个电话吗 拜托了 - Hello? - Could I use yourphone, please?
什么 Yes?
很抱歉我们打扰你了 先生 We're so sorry to bother you, sir,
但你可以告诉我们格雷戈里在哪住吗 but could you please tell us where the Gregorys live?
这是我们找的第三间房子了 This is the third house we've tried.
好像所有人长周末都出去了 Looks like everyone's gone for the long weekend.
格雷戈里 The Gregorys?
不 我不认识这里... No, I don't know anyone around here...
叫那名字的人 by that name.
地址是哪里 What's the address?
额 Um,
我其实也不知道 I honestly don't know.
我的电话湿了而她的电话留在家了 My phone got wet and she left hers at her house.
的士就把我们放这里 The taxi just dropped us here.
我们一直在这周围走了20分钟了 We've been walking around for, like, 20 minutes.
对 我的脚都快断了 Yeah, my feet are, like, dying.
但我很抱歉 恐怕我帮不了你们 Well, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't help you.
祝福你们 Bless you.
给你 Here.
谢谢 Thank you.
那么 如果你们想的话 可以进来打个电话 Well, if you guys want you can come in and use my phone.
噢 谢谢 但... Oh, thanks, but...
联系人都在我们手机里 All our contacts are on our phones.
我...我甚至自己号码多少都不知道 你能信 I... I don't even know my own number, can you believe it?
也许阿什利在脸书聊天室 Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat?
啊 聪明 Ah, genius.
其实 你介意我们用一下你的电脑吗 Actually, would you mind if we just used your computer for a sec?
我们不想勉强你 We don't want to impose.
我们拿到地址后就不麻烦你了 We'll just get the address and be out of your hair.
好吧 当然 Yeah. Sure.
进来 Come in.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不用 没事 不用担心 No, it's fine. Don't worry.
噢 我不介意 Oh, I don't mind.
我们不想把你房子搞脏 We don't want to mess up your house.
是啊 麻烦你了 Yeah. Excuse me.
额 非常感谢你 Um, thank you so, so much.
- 我知道这很突然 - 没事 - I know this is so random. - It's fine.
等等 我去给你们拿平板电脑和毛巾 Hang on, I'll get you an iPad and some towels.
谢谢 Thanks.
房子很漂亮啊 Nice house.
谢谢 Thanks.
女孩们 Girls?
我们在这 We're in here.
对不起 这比较暖和 I'm so sorry, it was warmer here.
希望你别介意 Hope you don't mind.
我们冷死了 We were freezing.
给你们 Here.
我的天 谢谢你 Oh, my God. Thank you.
这真让人尴尬 This is beyond embarrassing.
不用担心 Don't worry about it.
当自己家一样就好 Make yourselves at home.
顺便一提 我是贝尔 I'm Bel, by the way.
埃文 Evan.
- 很高兴认识你 - 很高兴认识你 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
阿什利在线 Ashley's online.
很好 Cool.
你真是好人 埃文 You're a life saver, Evan.
现在不是谁都会让两个陌生人进屋的 Not everyone would just let two total strangers into their house these days.
你们看起来不怎么危险 Well, you don't look that dangerous.
最坏情况 Worst case scenario,
我知道我应付不了你们两个 I know I can take the both of you.
那很难说 I'm not so sure.
我有练空中拳击 I do air boxing.
- 空中拳击 - 对 像 懂吧 - Air boxing? - Yeah, like, you know?
- 噢 好吧 - 我的天 对不起 - Oh, okay. - Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- 先生 请问 - 是 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes.
- 这地址是什么 - 他叫埃文 - What's the address? - His name's Evan.
埃文 Evan?
坎特 458号 458 Canter.
哇 我们离好远 Wow. We're like, far.
是坎特纳 不是坎特 It was Kantner, not Canter.
出租车肯定是误解我们了 The cab must've misunderstood us.
我早告诉你走错路了 I told you that he was going the wrong way.
那家伙基本不会说英语 That guy barely spoke English.
我意思是 他的英语比我的还差 I mean, his English was worse than mine.
这下可真麻烦 This is so retarded.
别担心 我召唤优步 Don't worry about it. I'll call an Uber.
不 不 不 No. No, no, no.
我们可以出去找出租车 没问题的 We can find a cab outside. It's no problem.
你在这找不到的 Not around here, you won't.
相信我 这是唯一可靠的方法 Trust me, it's the only reliable way.
你确定 我觉得像白痴一样 You sure? I feel like such an idiot.
我们不想破坏你的夜晚 We don't want to ruin your night.
没有 没问题 No really. It's fine.
在寻找司机 It's looking for a driver.
而它将会在... And it'll be here in...
45分钟内来到这 45 minutes.
那么久 That long?
雨天 The rain.
找到一台就很幸运了 We're lucky we even got one.
什么 What?
额 我知道这听起来很奇怪 Um, I know this is gonna sound weird,
但我们可以用一下你的干衣机 大概10分钟 but could we maybe throw our clothes in your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes?
我们真的不想全身湿透的去派对 We really don't want to go to a party soaking wet.
对 No.
求求你 Please?
当然可以 额... Sure, sure. Um...
我们有些多余的浴袍 我会...去拿 We have some extra robes. I'll, uh, go get them.
- 谢谢你 - 好 - Thank you. - Yay.
这真的救了我们的命 This is literally saving our lives.
对 我们可能会生病然后死了 Yeah, we could get sick and die.
你的手机在吗 You have your phone?
在 怎么了 Uh yeah, why?
我可以试着修好它 I can try and fix it.
真的吗 Really? Oh.
我的孩子把我的电话扔浴缸里 My kid dropped mine in the tub,
而且你不会相信 但如果你把手机放进米缸里 and you won't believe this, but if you put it in rice
会把手机抽干 it kinda dries it out.
- 那最好了 - 米 - That would be awesome. - Rice?
我的天 你真利害啊 Oh, my God, you're like a MythBuster.
非常感谢你 埃文 Thank you so much, Evan.
不客气... You're welcome...
- 乔纳森 - 乔纳森 - Genesis. - Genesis.
对 就是创世记 Yeah, like the beginning of time.
起源 In the beginning.
不好意思 Sorry.
好吧 你...你真不会开玩笑 Yup, that was...You're sick of that.
谢谢 Thanks.
我去 额... I'll, uh...
我去拿浴袍给你们 I'll go get you some.
嘿 埃文 Hey, Evan?
衣服我们该拿去哪 Where should we put these?
噢 我来拿去吧 Oh, I'll take them.
不 我们拿吧 我们不介意 No, we can do it. We don't mind.
我来吧 I got it.
我给你们冲了茶 I made you some tea.
- 谢谢 - 谢谢你 那很好 - Thank you. - Thank you, that's nice.
- 真贴心 - 来给我 - So sweet. - I'll trade you.
额 好的 Uh, okay.
谢谢 Gracias.
借过 Excuse me.
我的天 Oh, my God.
噢 对不起 Oh, sorry.
我们在热身 We were trying to warm up.
我意思是 我们从没见过这 Yeah, I mean, we've never seen one of these before.
- 实物 - 没事 - A real one. - It's okay.
小心点就好 这是古董 Just be careful. It's old.
我看你们已经见过猴子了 I see you've met Monkey.
对 这是猴子 Yeah, this is Monkey.
猴子是时候去睡觉了 It's time for Monkey to go to bed.
- 拜 猴子 - 晚安 猴子 - Bye, Monkey. - Night-night, Monkey.
- 晚安 - 作个好梦 - Night-night. - Sweet dreams.
拜 猴子 Bye, Monkey.
好了 猴子 All right, Monkey.
回家吧 猴子 Go home, Monkey.
你有很多唱片 You have so many records.
抱歉 我们拿了一张试试 Sorry. We had to try one.
别再道歉了 这没什么 Stop apologizing, it's okay.
我很喜欢这专辑 你们品位不错啊 I love this album. You have good taste.
这像是... This is like...
疯狂收藏者啊 An insane collection.
- 对 - 这一定很值钱 - Yeah. - It must be worth a fortune.
什么都数字化了 所以... Well, everything's online now, so...
但是我喜欢乙烯基播出来的声音 But, uh, I love the sound of vinyl.
你真的很懂音乐 You're really into music.
那个 我以前是干这个的 Well, it used to be my job.
什么 像是唱片销售员 What? Like a record salesman?
我以前是DJ I was a DJ.
我的天 那真酷 Oh, my God. That's so cool!
你就像是激光上校 You're like Major Lazer!
这现在是个爱好 我好几年没演出了 It's really a hobby now, I haven't had a real gig in years.
等等 你几岁了 Wait, how old are you?
我43岁 I'm 43.
- 不是吧 - 我真不敢相信你43了 - No fucking way. - I can't believe you're 43.
我以为你才28最多30 I thought you were, like, 28 or 30 at the most.
好吧 我30岁就结婚了 Well, I got married when I was 30.
你老婆呢 Where's your wife?
她跟我的孩子们在海滩 She's at the beach with my kids.
我们本来去那过父亲节 但工作太忙 We were gonna spend Father's Day there, but, uh, work happened.
我的天 你在父亲节一个人 Oh, my God, you are all alone on Father's Day.
真可怜 我们来陪你吧 Poor Evan, we'll keep you company!
抱抱 Hugs!
不 没事 我们早上庆祝过了 No, it's fine. We celebrated this morning.
哇 你真不像43岁 Whoa, you're not 43.
你肯定每天都有健身 You must work out, like, every day.
对 我要保持身材 Yeah, I keep in shape.
虽然不像我20岁那时 但... Not like when I was in my 20s, but, uh...
别谦虚 很多人身材的线条 Come on, any guy that ripped
都没你的好 is more into his own ass than yours.
对 我意思是 说认真的 Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,
你只有健身 is that all you do?
我的天 Oh, my God,
我记得我有一次跟模特做爱 I remember I fucked this model once,
而当我们在做爱期间 and while we were having sex
我在镜子里看见他在做仰卧起坐 I caught him doing crunches in the mirror.
这是有史以来最基情的事 It was the gayest thing ever.
看哪天我会找一个更年长更有经验的苏格兰模特 I'd take somebody that's older and more experienced over an Abercrombie model any day.
是啊 Yeah.
那么 希望你会找到 Well, hopefully one day you'll find both.
我不知道 I don't know.
内衣模特都是像你14岁时的做爱对象而已 Underwear models are the kind of guys you fuck when you're 14.
这是一个陈述 That's a statement.
- 这是你老婆 - 对 - This is your wife? - Yup.
我想看看 I want to see it.
哇 她很漂亮 Wow! She's so pretty.
她很漂亮 你真幸运 She's beautiful. You're a lucky guy.
对 还有谁 Yeah, I certainly am.
我只是一个建筑师 但... I'm just an architect, but...
她更厉害 she's the real deal.
你们看见这里大多数东西 Most of what you see is hers.
- 这些都她做的 - 对 - She made all these? - Yeah.
哇 Wow.
它们很别致 They're so pretty.
我喜欢这颜色 I love these colors.
红色是我的最爱 Red's my favorite.
这真厉害 This is amazing.
其实我是学艺术史的 I actually studied art history.
我不是专家 我只学了一个学期 但 I'm no expert, I was only there for a semester, but,
这... this...
这就像是高迪的建筑物 但是迷你版 This is like a Gaudi building, but small.
对 我老婆很喜欢高迪 Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi.
她是...她是巴塞罗那出生的 She was, uh, she was born in Barcelona.
跟我一样 Like me?
说英语 说英语 你们说话听起来太性感了 English, English.You guys sound too sexy.
我的西班牙语程度就这样而已 That's about the extent of my Spanish anyway.
我的孩子说得很好 My kids speak it perfectly.
你老婆是个很棒的艺术家 Your wife's an amazing artist.
为什么这些雕像在这 Why are these sculptures here?
它们应该在像 现代艺术博物馆 They should be in like, MOMA.
其实... Actually, um...
这说不上是现代艺术博物馆... It's not exactly MOMA...
但她在洛杉矶有个很大的画廊展 But she's having a big gallery show in LA.
凯伦 阿尔瓦拉多 这名字很美 Karen Alvarado. That's such a pretty name.
建筑师和艺术家 An architect and an artist.
你们这一对真完美 You guys are like the perfect couple.
而且她那么火辣 And she's so hot.
你们肯定整天做爱的 You must have sex, like, all day.
- 贝尔 - 干嘛 - Bel! - What?
我会的 I would.
她每次看见辣妹都会追着她 She sees a hot girl and chases after her.
好吧 这没什么 我没抱怨 Well, it's okay. I have no complaints.
抱歉 我只是说真心话而已 Sorry, I was just being honest.
不 不 没事 No, no. It's fine.
额 但... Um, but, uh...
我得说 I must say
我只是不太习惯女孩子那个这么开放 I'm not used to girls just being so open about that.
那个 About what?
性 Sex?
不 我意思是... 对 No, I mean... Yes.
- 是的 - 是的 - Yeah. - Yes.
就是性 It's just sex.
对 Right.
你现在看起来是老了 Now you seem old.
抱歉 很抱歉 Sorry. So sorry.
20分钟到 Twenty minutes away.
你跟你老婆一起多久了 How long have you and your wife been together?
我是29岁而她是20岁 I was 29 and she was 20.
这很长时间了 It's been awhile.
你这么多年都没跟其他人一起过 So you haven't been with anyone else in all those years?
14年都没有 Fourteen years, nope.
哇 Wow.
这是怎么做到的 How is that even possible?
当你爱上一个人... Well, when you love someone...
别这样 埃文 Come on, Evan.
人类是唯一的物种实行一夫一妻制的 Humans are the only species that practice monogamy.
我意思是 我们是动物 我们是比动物更高级的动物 I mean, we're animals. We're more animals than animals.
这刻在我们的基因上 It's in our DNA.
就像 一生人只跟一个人一起 Like, being with one person your whole life,
这是违反天性的 is going against your own nature.
听着 Look.
像这样 It's like this.
我很明白男人 I understand men.
我知道就算我结婚了 I know whenever I get married,
我老公也会想跟其他女孩子一起 my husband is gonna want to be with other girls.
所以 我现在想玩3P So, I want to get comfortable with having threesomes now,
因为这是他不出去偷腥的唯一办法 because I know that's the only way he'll never cheat on me.
哇 Wow.
那么 你们...你们是做什么的 So, are you guys...What do you guys do?
我意思是 你们...你们是在读书还是什么 I mean, are you... Are you in school or something?
我意思是... I mean...
其实我们是空姐 Actually, we're flight attendants.
真的 Really?
你想要什么主菜 先生 What would you like for your entree, sir?
我们有鸡肉... We have chicken...
和意面 And pasta.
请扣好你的安全带 先生 Please buckle your seatbelt, sir.
我们可能遭遇到湍流 We may be encountering some turbulence.
那么... So...
你们通常飞去哪 Where you guys based out of?
到处飞 Everywhere.
上周末我们去了新西兰停留了24小时 Last weekend we were in New Zealand for 24 hours.
那真是棒 It was awesome.
哇 那时差怎么办 Wow, how was that jet lag?
我们不睡觉 We don't sleep.
就像做一个假摇滚明星 It's like being a fake rock star.
像这样 你在头等舱全世界飞 You know, you fly around the world first class,
满屋是酒而且是免费的 drinks are on the house and they pay you for it.
我很嫉妒 I'm jealous.
当我还是DJ时有一次巡回演出 I once got offered a tour when I was a DJ.
不像你们那样 但...三个州跑 Not like you guys, but, uh, Tri-State area.
对 我认为做空姐是增加人生阅历的最好方法 Yeah, well, I think traveling is the best way to get life experience.
特别当你只会在那停留24小时 Especially when you're only there for 24 hours.
你真的会非常享受 You really make the most of it.
是啊 我们的真非常享受 Yeah, we make the most of it.
不像我们那个同事海星 Unlike that fucking starfish we work with. Ugh.
呕 海星 Ugh, starfish.
- 海星 - 这个跟我们一起工作的女孩... - Starfish? - This girl we work with...
她不用做床上的事 She doesn't have to do anything in bed,
她就躺在那像他妈的海星一样 she just lies there like a fucking starfish.
因此叫海星 Hence, starfish.
我意思是 谁会想操她啊 I mean, who'd want to fuck that?
我不明白这种女孩 I don't understand girls like that.
当我跟一个男人一起 我会想他拥有最美好的时光 When I'm with a guy, I want him to have the time of his life.
- 无条件 - 对 - No rules. - None.
无限制的性欲 Nothing's off limit, sexually.
有界线的性爱不是真正的性爱 Sex with boundaries isn't really sex.
如果我们身体上想做 If our bodies are capable of doing it,
那么我们也应该去做 对吧 then we were meant to. Right?
噢 埃文 我可以用下你的厕所吗 Oh, Evan? Can I use your bathroom?
当然 厕所就在走廊的右手边 Of course. It's, uh, down the hall on the right.
谢谢 Thanks.
这些我都不懂 I don't know any of these.
我有很好的品味 Well, I have pretty eclectic taste.
你有西班牙音乐 You have Spanish music.
其实是智力 Chilean, actually.
我老婆很喜欢她 弗兰 巴伦苏埃拉 My wife loves her, Fran Valenzuela.
可以播这个吗 Can you put it on?
当然 Sure.
她很有才华 She's really talented.
她13岁就开始作曲了 She started composing when she was 13.
这是她的第三张专辑 This is her third album.
哇 Wow!
你怎么知道那会混起来 How did you know that would mix?
DJ就跟酒保一样 DJ'ing is like mixing a drink.
首先你要找到正确的要素 First you find the right ingredients,
然后你就可以混合起来了 then you find the blend.
埃文 我有件事要坦白 Evan, I have something to confess.
什么 Yes?
我很高兴我们敲了你的门 I'm glad we knocked on your door.
我们在这比 I'm having a way better time here
本来要去那傻派对来得开心 then at that stupid party we were supposed to go to.
好吧 我得承认 这里通常不会在凌晨1点30分 Well, I have to confess, it's not usually this exciting around here
这么兴奋的 at 1:30 in the morning.
这就像我们命中注定要相遇一样 It's like destiny that we were meant to meet.
你相信命运吗 埃文 Do you believe in destiny, Evan?
我是个建筑师 I'm an architect.
所以我明显是相信未来是掌握在手中的 So obviously I believe that things happen by your own design.
我相信命运 Well, I do.
我不认为人们都是随便认识的 I don't think people just meet randomly.
我觉得如果我们在这一起 I think that if we are here, together,
是因为 it's because
我们要互相学习 there's something we have to learn from each other.
探索 Discover.
车到了 It's here.
我去找乔纳森 I'll go get Genesis.
我去拿你们的衣服 I'll get your clothes.
我草 What the fuck!
女孩们 Guys!
女孩们 车在外面等着 Guys, the car's outside.
女孩们 我拿了你们的衣服 都差不多干了 Guys, I have your clothes, they're pretty much dry.
女孩们 Guys!
好的 我要进来了 All right, I'm coming in,
我没有在看 所以 抱歉 I'm not looking, so excuse me.
- 惊喜 - 惊喜 - Surprise! - Surprise!
你们干嘛 What the fuck are you doing?
- 来吧 埃文 来跟我们一起 - 对 来一起吧 - Come on, Evan. Join us. - Yeah, join the party.
- 过来 - 车载外面等着 - Come here. - The car's outside.
车可以等啊 过来 The car can wait. Come on.
我去告诉司机你们快来了 I'm gonna tell the driver that you're coming out.
穿上衣服 马上 Get dressed. Now.
拜托了 这是你们的衣服 Please. Here's your clothes.
埃文 看看我们 Evan. Look at us.
过来嘛... Come on...
哇 哇 哇 停 停手 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Stop. Stop.
我不能这样 我已婚了 I can't do this. I'm married.
很幸福 好吧 Happily. Okay?
你可以的 Yes. You can.
嘿 这是我们的小秘密 Hey, it's our little secret.
哇 停 Whoa, stop. Stop.
只是性爱而已 我们都是成年人 It's just sex. We're all adults here.
我很高兴 I'm flattered.
但我真的不可以 求你们把衣服穿上 But really, I can't. Please, get dressed.
你可以的 Yeah, you can.
来吧 就一天 Come on, just one day.
就放松享受吧 Just relax and enjoy it.
你喜欢这样 You like this?
你以前试过双飞吗 Have you ever had two girls do this to you before?
- 父亲节快乐 - 父亲节快乐 - Happy Father's Day! - Happy Father's Day!
- 早上好 爸爸 - 埃文 埃文 - Morning, Daddy. - Evan! Evan!
看看这个 Watch this!
贝尔 贝尔 接住 接住 Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch!
抱歉 贝尔 Sorry, Belly.
我以为你们离开了 I thought you guys left.
- 我们给你做了早餐 - 我不饿 - We made you breakky. - I'm not hungry.
猴子 这是我的 Monkey, that's mine.
你们俩一起住的 You two live together?
对 Yeah.
住哪里 Where?
为什么这么问 埃文 Why, Evan?
好让我送你们回去 So I can drive you there.
我已经没在家大概4年了 I haven't been home in like four years.
这里可以做我们的家 This could be our home.
我送你们去你们想去的地方 I'll drive you wherever you want.
我说了什么趣事吗 Did I say something funny?
我想去巴黎 埃文 I want to go to Paris, Evan.
不 我们去东京 No, let's go to Tokyo.
伦敦 London.
罗马 Rome.
趁热吃你的早餐 Don't let your breakky get cold.
嘿 宝贝 Hey, baby.
嘿 你还活着 Hey, you're alive.
对 半死状态 Yeah, ah, barely.
我忘了凡妮莎的野草有多坚强 I forgot how strong Vanessa's weed was.
我刚起床 I just woke up.
你真轻松 You are such a lightweight.
- 孩子们怎么样了 - 不怎么好 - How are the kids? - Not so good.
- 怎么了 - 埃文 - What happened? - Evan!
杰克被水母刺伤了 他哭了 Jake got stung by a jellyfish. He was crying.
- 噢 不 - 是的 - Oh, no! - Yeah.
小可怜 Poor little guy.
- 他现在没事了吧 - 他在哪 - He's okay now. - Where is he?
他回沙滩去玩了 He's back at the beach.
刚有点危险 It was a little bit hairy for a while,
但现在没事了 but now he's okay.
那你呢 你的项目怎么样了 What about you? How's your project?
进行得很好 Great. Great. Great.
额 我现在很开心 Uh, I'm in a really good groove now,
那么 回家再说吧 so, home stretch.
好的 那我不妨碍你了 Okay, then don't let me interrupt you.
晚点再说 你看起来有点心烦意乱 Let's talk later.You seem a little distracted.
没有 我不是那个意思 No. That's not what I meant.
只是... It's just...
我只是想尽快完成项目 不用再烦 so I don't have to think about it, you know?
也许我早点完成 我可以 Maybe if I get done early, I can,
我可以开车来找你们 I can drive out there.
宝贝 我明白 不要有压力 Baby, I get it. Don't stress.
做你该做的 Do what you have to do.
- 我爱你 - 我也爱你 - I love you. - Love you, too.
别把我们的大麻全抽了 Don't smoke all our weed.
我不会 我保证 I won't. I promise.
- 拜 - 再见 - Bye. - Ciao.
该死的 Shit! Shit! Shit!
你现在饿了 Are you hungry now?
起来把衣服穿上 Get up! And get dressed!
马上 Right now!
不好意思 先生 能告诉我埃文去哪了吗 Excuse me, sir.Can you tell me where Evan is?
那个从大雨中拯救了两个女孩的那个贴心男 You know, that sweet guy that saved two girls from the rain?
他消失了 快起来 He's gone. Get the fuck up.
快走 Let's go.
我不喜欢你的语气 I don't appreciate your tone of voice.
快去 Go!
来吧 贝尔 看来埃文没有幽默感了 Come on, Belly. Looks like Evan lost his sense of humor.
快去 Go!
哈喽 Hello!
要走了 Let's go!
贝尔去哪了 Where's Bel?
我不知道 她不是我的朋友 I don't know, she's not my friend.
贝尔 Bel!
贝尔 Bel?
你他妈的在干什么 What the fuck are you doing?
你叫我们去穿衣服啊 You tell us to get dressed.
快来 游戏时间结束了 Come on. Playtime's over.
埃文 你能抱抱我吗 Evan, can you hold me?
拜托 就一下下 Please, just once more.
- 拜托了 我想你的抱抱 - 贝尔 听我说 - Please, I miss your hugs. - Bel. Listen to me.
你现在要走了 You're leaving. Now.
快去穿衣服 Get dressed.
- 我爱你 - 贝尔... - I love you. - Bel...
- 我爱你 - 不 - I love you. - No!
我非常爱你 I love you so much.
该死的 我草 God damn it! Fuck!
我爱你 我控制不了 I love you. I can't help it.
我为你而疯狂 I'm crazy about you.
你有3分钟 You have three minutes!
我就在外面 I'll be outside!
快穿衣服 Get dressed!
出发了 Let's go!
你们他妈的在干什么 What in the fuck are you doing!
你们知道你们做什么了吗 You have any idea what you've done?
知道 艺术 Yeah. It's called art.
我们受到昨晚的启发 记得吗 We were inspired from last night. Remember?
我他妈的要报警了 I'm calling the fucking police.
去啊 Go ahead.
你他妈的笑什么 What the fuck is so funny!
我有个有趣的故事要告诉他们 I just have a funny story for them.
故事叫“捕捉掠食者” It's called "To Catch a Predator."
你他妈在说什么 What the fuck are you talking about?
15岁判20年 Fifteen to 20 years?
我觉得是20年 I think it is 20.
15岁判你20年 对吧 Fifteen gets you 20, right?
- 真不敢相信 - 你不需要相信 - I don't believe it. - You don't have to.
法官会 The jury will.
强奸幼女 埃文 Statutory rape, Evan.
坐20年牢 Twenty years behind bars.
而且那只是判一个的刑 And that's just for one of us.
而且我不打算洗澡 And I'm not planning on taking a shower.
我有证据 I have evidence.
是吗 Really?
如果你只有15岁那怎么能成为空姐 So how could you be a flight attendant if you're only 15?
我草 什么 What the fuck! What?
我们看电影学的 埃文 We saw that in a movie, Evan.
我说了他会相信的 I told you he'd believe it.
你想看我的身份证吗 Do you want to check my ID?
她还没有 太还小 She doesn't have one, she's too young.
好吧 Okay.
你们想要什么 What do you want?
我们想每天早上给你做早餐 We want to make breakky for you every morning.
别这样 Come on.
就告诉我 你们要多少钱 Just tell me. How much do you want?
别生气 埃文 Don't be mad, Evan.
这不是你 That's not you.
- 你性格变了 - 对 - You're different from the others. - Yeah.
多少钱 How much!
你把我们当什么了 妓女 What do you think we are, hookers?
天啊 埃文 我们不是妓女 Jesus, Evan, we're not fucking whores!
是啊 Yeah.
你才是妓女 You're the fucking whore!
妓女 Whore!
埃文 Evan?
是维维安 It's Vivian!
别乱跑 Do not move!
埃文 Evan!
埃文 很抱歉我迟到了 Evan, I'm so sorry I'm late,
但风暴把树枝刮到全城都是 but that storm blew branches out all over town.
还吹倒了两个交通灯 It even knocked two traffic lights out.
我发誓 我发誓我在那等了15分钟 I swear, I swear I was sitting there for 15 minutes
而且我试着开车走 但那里有维护卡车挡着 and I was trying to navigate, but there was repair trucks.
没事 没事 It's fine. It's fine.
其实我感觉好多了 Actually, I'm feeling much better.
噢 那真的很好 Oh, then that's really good
因为这会有帮助 because then this'll help.
我会给你个放松的按摩 I'll give you a relaxation massage,
这有助血液循环 it'll help circulate.
其实...凯伦应该告诉你了 Actually... Karen should have told you,
我这周末很忙 I have a lot of work to do this weekend.
我爱凯伦 我非常爱她 她还好吗 I love Karen. I love her so much, how is she?
她很有才华 She is so talented.
我迫不及待地要看她的展览 I cannot wait to see her exhibition.
我告诉你其实 In fact, you know what?
吉姆和我要开车去看开幕 Jim and I are going to drive up for the opening
如果我可以不用去 if I can get out of that conference
索诺玛跟那些按摩师开会 I have in Sonoma with those massage therapists.
你知道那些会议 You know how that can be.
他不想你的按摩 He doesn't want your massage.
你想吗 宝贝 Do you, baby?
进回去 Get back inside.
不想让我着凉 Don't let me get cold.
这真的让人很伤心 好吧 This is really upsetting, okay?
我来这帮你治疗 I'm here to heal,
但这真的...这真的很让人伤心 but this is really...This is upsetting!
- 这很伤心 - 这不是你想的那样 - It's upsetting! - It's not what you think.
不 不 这正式我所想的 No, no. It's exactly what I think!
但你知道吗 这是你的生活 But you know what? It's your life.
- 维维安 拜托 - 我...不 - Vivian, please. - I... Don't.
这是你的私事 埃文 It's your relationship, Evan.
看 我是埃文DJ Look, I'm a DJ like Evan!
为什么不让你女友进来 Why didn't you let your girlfriend in?
你为我们感到羞耻 还是你也把她草了 Are you ashamed of us? Or are you fucking her, too?
- 快离开我家 - 小心点 - Get out of my house! - Be careful,
这两个可爱的小女孩可以让你 these two cute little girls can put you behind bars
- 坐一辈子牢 - 快离开我家 - for the rest of your life! - Get out of my house!
你的客户会怎么说 你的邻居呢 What would your client say? Your neighbors?
如果我们告诉你老婆昨晚的事她会说什么 What would your wife say if we told her everything we did last night?
快离开 Get out!
看到你老婆跟你离婚真是好羞愧 It's gonna be such a shame to see your wife divorce you!
而且你的事业都毁于 And your business ruined
一个变态的晚上 over a single night of perversion!
你想逐家告诉你的邻居 You wanna go door-to-door telling your neighbors
你是个儿童性侵犯者 you're a child molester?
其他父母会怎么做 What would the other parents do?
如果你是恋童癖还会让他们的小孩在这玩 Let their kids play here if you're a convicted pedophile?
就这样埃文 There's Evan!
我不相信你会说出来 I didn't think you had it in you.
911 你有什么紧急事件 911, what's your emergency?
我想报告一件非法闯入 I'd like to report a break-in.
你是从... You're calling from 458...
你能送我们吗 Can you give us a ride?
走吧 Let's go.
好吧 这一点也不尴尬 Well, this isn't awkward at all.
车不错啊 埃文 Cool car, Evan.
右边的这一家 This one on the right.
下车 Out.
你不下车跟我们道别吗 You're not gonna get out and say bye?
走 Go.
你不想进来见见我妈吗 Don't you want to come in and meet my mom?
- 噢 - 拜 - Oh! - Bye!
帮我们给凯伦和孩子们问好 Send our love to Karen and the kids!
拜 Bye!
哈喽 Hello?
我的天 Oh, my God!
噢 Oh!
你们干什么 What the hell are you doing?
乔纳森 求你 这太疯狂了 解开我 Genesis, please, this is crazy, untie me!
这有什么意义 What's the point of this?
我是个好人 I'm a good person.
我犯了错 I made a mistake.
我们能当作这从没发生 We can forget this ever happened.
求你了 Please! Please!
难道你们没犯过错吗 Haven't you ever made a mistake?
爸爸 Daddy!
噢 爸爸 Oh, Daddy!
看我找到什么 Look what I found.
我的天 Oh, my God!
你把那脱下来 You take that off.
那是我女儿的 快脱下来 That's my daughter's. You take that off!
你喜欢我穿这样吗 爸爸 You like how it fits me, Daddy?
- 看 - 快把它脱下来 - Look. - Take those off,
你这疯婊子 you fucking crazy bitch!
好吧 Okay.
你知道 每个女孩的初恋 You know, every girl's first love
都是他们的爸爸 is their daddy, huh?
你有病 得治 You're sick.
你喜欢我这样 You like what you see?
你喜欢我这样吗 You like what you see?
爸爸 Daddy?
- 喜欢吗 - 不 - Huh? - No.
贝尔 Bel.
解开我 Untie me.
解开我 求你了 Untie me, please.
如果你真的爱我 If you really love me,
解开我 untie me.
别理这混蛋 Ignore that asshole.
他不是混蛋 He's not an asshole.
他是我爸爸 He's my Daddy.
你别听她的 爸爸 You don't listen to her, Daddy.
她不像我这么爱你 She doesn't love you the way I do.
我爱你 爸爸 I love you, Daddy.
自从妈妈带你回家我就一直爱着你 I've loved you ever since Mommy brought you home.
还记得那晚只有我们俩 Remember that night when we were all alone
你偷偷溜进我房间吗 and you snuck into my room?
而我假装睡觉 And I pretended to be asleep.
但当你把我衣服脱了 But when you took off my clothes,
我再也假装不了 I couldn't pretend any longer.
我们做你和妈妈从来不做的事 We did things you and Mommy never did.
我希望你不要再生我的气 爸爸 I hope you're not angry at me anymore, Daddy.
我告诉妈妈 I only did that to Mommy
是因为我想你一个人 because I wanted you all to myself.
贝尔 贝尔 解开我 求求你 Bel, Bel, untie me, please?
求你了 Please.
你可以像往常那样给我盖被子 You can tuck me in like you always did.
怎么了 爸爸 What's wrong, Daddy?
你不想再草你的宝贝女儿了吗 Don't you want to fuck your little girl again?
你忘记这么多年对我做的事了吗 Did you forget what you did to me all those years?
你为什么这样对我 Why did you do that to me?
你为什么这样对我 Why did you do that to me!
- 贝尔... - 为什么 - Bel... - Why?
停 贝尔 Stop! Bel!
贝尔 停 Bel, stop!
你为什么这样对我 Why did you do that to me!
为什么 你为什么这样对我 Why! Why did you do that to me!
停 停 Stop! Stop!
贝尔 停 求你了 Bel! Stop, please!
停手 停手 Stop it! Stop it!
嘘 Shh.
解开我 Untie me.
那是什么声音 What the fuck is that?
你藏着什么东西 是吧 埃文 You're not hiding something,are you, Evan?
你在这藏着什么 What are you hiding here, huh?
来吧 在哪里 爸爸 Come on, where is it, Daddy?
是凯伦要视频通话 It's Karen on FaceTime!
- 我一直都很想见她 - 快接 - I've been dying to meet her. - Answer it.
- 我们好好的了解她 - 不 不 - Let's get to know her. - No! No!
你说得对 这会很尴尬 You're right, this could get awkward.
- 你干什么 - 好多了 - What are you doing? - Much better.
不要 Don't!
鸡巴可以接电话吗 Can a cock answer an iPhone?
可以 贝尔 但必须硬起来 Yes, Belly, but it's gotta be hard.
好吧 Okay.
不要 求求你们 No! Please!
- 这可能是我的小孩 - 嗨 埃文 欢迎回来 - It could be my kids! - Hi Evan, welcome back.
那么 他们之前有见过偷腥的鸡巴吗 So? Have they ever seen a cheating dick before?
她的口红漂亮吗 How about covered in her lipstick?
好了 求你了 Okay! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Please.
贝尔 我会做任何你想的事 Bel, I'll do whatever you want.
好 好 Yes! Yes!
好的 好了 Okay. Okay.
现在草我吧 爸爸 Now, fuck me, Daddy!
- 草我 - 好样的 埃文 - Fuck me! - Attaboy, Evan.
干她 Fuck her.
像昨晚那样干她 Fuck her like it was last night.
对 干死她 Yeah, fuck her good!
草我吧 爸爸 Fuck me, Daddy!
像草你的宝贝女儿一样操我吧 Fuck me like you fuck your little daughter!
小狗式 贝尔 Doggy style, Belly!
你想吃点什么吗 贝尔 You want something to eat, Bel?
不用 我不饿 No, I'm okay.
好吧 Okay.
草我 爸爸 Fuck me, Daddy!
像草妈妈那样草我吧 Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!
对 爸爸的宝贝女儿 Yeah, Daddy's little girl!
你是个乖女孩 You're a good little girl!
- 草我 爸爸 - Fuck me, Daddy! - Yeah!
像草妈妈那样草我 Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!
我的伤口 My scar! My scar! My scar!
我的手术 My surgery!
你一直都是个坏孩子 埃文 You've been a very bad boy, Evan!
求你了 快拿开 Please, please, please take it out! Take it out!
我的天 Oh, my God!
我的... Oh, my...
...天 ...God!
为什么你打我 爸爸 Why did you hit me, Daddy?
现在我们要惩罚你了 Now we have to punish you.
欢迎来到美国人最喜欢的游戏节目 Welcome to America's favorite game show,
谁想做恋童癖 Who Wants to be a Pedophile!
我们给观众想要的 Where we give the audience what they want!
惩罚恋童癖的机会 The chance to punish a pedophile.
但首先 But first,
让我们欢迎我们美丽可爱而富有魅力的 let's welcome our lovely, beautiful and charming,
贝尔女士 Ms. Bel!
你好 贝尔女士 Hello, Ms. Bel.
作为今晚的选手 For tonight's contestant,
我们有一个特别嘉宾 we have a very special one,
他不仅是一名建筑师同时也是一个DJ he's not only an architect but also a DJ,
一个老公 两个小孩的父亲 a husband, a father of two,
可能是三个 possibly three.
或者四个 Four.
全都是同一个老爸 All the way from one percent land,
埃文 韦伯先生 Mr. Evan Webber!
贝尔女士 可以麻烦你帮我们的选手做准备吗 Ms. Bel, would you please get our contestant ready?
当然 Sure.
你们都是疯婊子 You're both crazy fucking bitches!
你们看起来像21岁 你们欺骗我 You look 21, you lied to me!
噢 就像你欺骗你老婆 Oh, like you lied to your wife?
我怎么跟我老婆说这不关你们... What I tell my wife is none of your goddamn...
天啊 God! God!
停手 我的耳朵 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! My ears! My ears!
我快要聋了 I'll go deaf! I'll go deaf!
这不是开玩笑的 This is fucking serious!
我会聋的 I could go deaf!
游戏还没开始呢 The game hasn't started yet.
我们第一个问题... Our first category...
幼儿园 Schoolyards.
学校离埃文接他的孩子 How far away from school
回家有多远 will Evan have to pick up his kids?
100码 100 yards?
500码 500 yards?
2英里 Or two miles?
这真他妈的有病 This is fucking sick!
回答错误 正确的答案是 Wrong answer. Correct answer is
你在监狱不能接孩子 you can't pick up your kids from prison.
我草 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
拜托 Please!
我们下一个问题是什么 贝尔女士 What's our next category, Ms. Bel?
我喜欢这个 I love this one.
爸爸 Daddies.
埃文 这对你来说很简单 Evan, this should be easy for you.
有多少已婚男子从这游戏生存下来 How many family men have survived this game?
没有 None.
什么 What was that?
没有 None.
正确 Correct!
- 下一个问题 - 乔纳森 - Next question. - Genesis.
我知道你的意思了 You've proved your point.
天啊 我听不见了 God! I can't hear! I can't hear!
求你停手 Please stop!
你要做的只是回答问题 埃文 All you have to do is answer the question, Evan.
好的 Okay.
那么问吧 Well, ask it, for fuck's sake!
对恋童癖用什么惩罚才适当呢 What's the proper punishment for a pedophile?
是关在每天你被强奸 Is it prison where you get raped every day
而且再也见不到你的家人的监狱 and you never get to see your family again?
阉割 Castration?
还是死 Or death?
10秒 Ten seconds.
好吧 看来到我们的广告时间了 Well, looks like it's time for our first commercial break.
我们将会在广告后回来 We'll be back after a message from our sponsors.
你好 是我 路易斯 Hello. It's me, Louis!
韦伯先生 Mr. Webber?
谁是路易斯 Who's Louis?
该死的讨厌鬼 Fucking douche bag.
拿毛毯 把他盖起来 Get that sheet, cover him up.
- 你一定是路易斯 - 是的 - You must be Louis. - Yes.
我是伯纳黛特 我是埃文叔叔的侄女 I'm Bernadette. I'm Uncle Evan's niece.
噢 嗨 很高兴认识你 Oh, hi, nice to meet you.
很明显 你认识埃文叔叔 Obviously, you're with Uncle Evan.
抱歉 我们在拍音乐视频 Sorry, we're shooting a music video.
那你们选了个很好的地方 Well, you guys picked an awesome location.
进来吧 Come on in.
你是从哪来的 So where'd you come in from?
- 达拉斯 - 噢 我以前住在奥斯汀 - Dallas. - Oh? I used to live in Austin.
噢 我没去过 Oh, I've never been.
当你在大学时会很有趣的 Well, it's fun when you're in college.
是啊 我去了帕森斯大学 Yeah, I went to Parsons.
噢 好的学校 Oh, great school.
我去了纽约视觉艺术学院 I went to SVA.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
- 我是路易斯 - 嗨 - I'm Louis. - Hi.
- 嗨 我是... - 她是玛卡瑞娜 - Hi. I'm... - She's Macarena.
- 她是我来自西班牙的朋友 - 噢 - She's my friend from Spain. -Oh.
- 他是来拿... - 外面的艺术品 - He's here to pick up... - The art work outside.
- 对 - 借过一下 - Yes. - Excuse me.
- 有人碰过这个 - 我们没有碰过 - Somebody touch this? - We didn't touch it.
这是凯伦阿姨的东西 我们不会靠近它的 It's Aunt Karen's stuff, we wouldn't go near it.
我也没看见埃文在这 I did see Evan in here earlier,
可能是他做的吧 maybe he did.
好吧 Okay,
因为这原来不是这样的 'cause it's not supposed to be like this.
它应该是用泡沫包裹和包装起来准备运走的 It's supposed to be bubble-wrapped and packed up and ready to go.
- 为什么埃文会这样做 - 她说了不是我们做的 - Why would Evan do this? - She said it wasn't us.
好的 Okay.
我草 Oh, fuck.
我的天 Oh, my God.
你们刚做什么了 What the fuck did y'all do?
他妈的这是什么 What the fuck is this shit!
我们不想告诉你 有人闯进来了 We didn't want to tell you, someone broke in
所以埃文出去了 and that's why Evan's out.
- 他去了追他们 - 对 - He was chasing them. - Yeah.
闭嘴 Shut the fuck up!
你们马上闭嘴 Shut the fuck up, both of you right now!
谁都别动 Nobody fucking move!
我现在报警 I'm calling the cops right now.
求你别告诉凯伦 Please don't tell Karen.
这可以是我们的小秘密 This could be our little secret.
婊子 你破坏了不该破坏的树了 Bitch, you're barking up the wrong fucking tree.
我来自奥克兰的 I'm from Oakland, ho!
我一看就知道你们是屁精了 I know two ghetto ass hos when I see 'em!
想想吧 埃文根本没有什么侄女 Come to think of it, Evan doesn't even have any fucking nieces.
你们是谁 Who the fuck are you?
你们最好希望凯伦回来前警察先到 You better hope the police get here before Karen does.
- 那是什么 - 没什么 - What the fuck was that? - Nothing.
- 嘿 等等 - 等等 - Hey, wait. - Wait.
- 那没什么 - 好狗不拦路 - It's nothing. - Get out of my way!
该死的 Shit.
该死的 Shit!
韦伯先生 Mr. Webber!
你还好吗 我草 Are you okay? Oh, fuck!
她们疯的 They're crazy!
把门关上 把门关上 Close the door. Close the door.
路易斯 Louis!
- 我要阻止这俩疯婊子 - 路易斯 别管了 - I gotta stop these crazy ass bitches. - Louis, forget it!
她们很危险 They're dangerous!
不 不 停 No! No! Stop!
停手 Stop it!
你们在做什么 What are you doing!
在找这个 Looking for this?
路易斯 小心 Louis! Be careful!
她们疯的 They're crazy!
猴子在中间 猴子在中间 Monkey in the middle! Monkey in the middle!
我们不能这样说 贝尔 这是种族歧视 We can't say that, Belly, it's racist.
好吧 男人在中间 Okay, man in the middle!
给他吧 Give it to him!
不 乔纳森 快给他 No, Genesis, give him that!
路易斯 Louis!
乔纳森 求你了 这与他无关 快叫救护车 救他 Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault! Please call an ambulance, help him!
傻逼 Fucker!
贝尔 求你救他 Bel, please help him!
快叫救护车 我保证什么都不会说 Call an ambulance, I promise I won't say anything!
贝尔 乔纳森 快叫救护车 Bel, Genesis! Call an ambulance, for fuck's sake!
我觉得叫救护车已经太迟了 埃文 I think it's a little late for an ambulance, Evan.
他绊倒了 这是他的错 He tripped, it's his fault.
我们只是在玩猴子在中间 We were just playing monkey in the middle.
我意思是 男人在中间 I mean, man in the middle.
我的天 Oh, my God!
你们杀了他 You killed him!
你老婆的垃圾雕塑杀了他 Your wife killed him with her shitty sculpture.
这垃圾很危险 埃文 This shit's dangerous, Evan.
你有小孩怎么能把这个放在这 How can you keep this here with kids?
这很不负责任 That's irresponsible parenting.
对 也许你老婆应该画画去 Yeah maybe your wife should stick to painting.
离我远点 Get the fuck away from me!
你想去哪啊 埃文 Where do you think you're going, Evan?
快放开我 离我远点 Get the fuck off me! Leave me alone!
想去兜风吗 Wanna go for a little ride?
你跑不掉的 爸爸 You can't run away from us, Daddy.
你逃不了的 You can't escape.
这就是你破坏游戏规则的后果 埃文 This is what happens when you break the rules of the game, Evan.
这就像艺术课 This is just like art class.
我对凯伦的雕塑做的 What I did to Karen's statue
跟我要对你做根本无法比较 is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you
如果我再看见你说谎的脸 if I ever see your fucking lying face again.
我这么相信你们 你怎么能草我老婆 I trusted you both, how could you fuck my wife?
别再接近我的家人 Never come near my family again.
消失不然你死定了 Disappear or you're fucking dead.
哪条路是去现代艺术博物馆 Which way is MOMA?
读起来像“奶奶” It's more like "momma."
罗马终有一天会有这领域 Ronnie is gonna have a field day with this one.
对 我很确定他是 Yeah, I'm sure he will.
那家伙是个魔术师 That guy's a magician.
是啊 Yeah.
他可以让任何东西消失 He can make anything disappear.
我们去做个了结吧 Let's finish this.
哇 这广告还真长啊 Wow, those were some really long commercials.
感谢给我们小休的赞助商路易斯 Thanks to our sponsor Louis for that little lovely break.
现在回到我们的百万问题来 Now! Back to our million dollar question.
对一个恋童癖的适当惩罚是什么 What is the proper punishment for a pedophile?
求你了 Please.
我爱我的孩子 我爱我的老婆 I love my children. I love my wife.
我是个好父亲 I'm a good father.
你们凭什么审判别人 How can you judge anyone?
你们是谋杀犯 You're murderers.
这是你的最后答案 Is that your final answer?
因为你10秒后就准备要聋了 Cause you're gonna go deaf in about 10 seconds from now.
求你了 乔纳森 Please, Genesis!
我是个好父亲 I'm a good father!
直到昨天为止 Until yesterday.
那改变不了我爱他们的事实啊 That doesn't change how much I love them!
你真的爱他们吗 埃文 Do you really love them, Evan?
真的吗 Really?
远胜世上一切 More than anything in the world.
那为什么你草我们时不想想他们 So why didn't you think of them when you were inside us?
对啊 为什么埃文 Yeah, why, Evan?
昨晚的事与我的家人一点关系都没有 Last night had nothing to do with my family.
你说得太对了 埃文 Damn right it didn't, Evan!
跟他们一点关系都没有 It had nothing to do with them.
你的家人是受害者 Your family are victims.
你的肮脏 恶心的变态行为的受害者 Victims of your sleazy, disgusting, perverted behavior.
杰克 丽莎 Jake. Lisa.
他们不应有你这样的父亲 They don't deserve a father like you.
这就是你对你家人做的事 This is what you did to your family.
你这变态 You pervert.
乔纳森 求求你 这不是答案 Genesis, please, this isn't the answer!
回答错误 Wrong answer.
正确答案是死 Correct answer is death.
广告之后我们马上回来 We'll be back after this commercial break.
死 Death?
你们要杀了我 You're gonna kill me?
你们他妈的要杀了我 You're gonna fucking kill me!
为什么 就因为我草了你们 Why? Why! Because I fucked you?
你草了我 你也草了我 You fucked me! You fucked me!
是你们来我家 来引诱我的 You came to my house! You came to me!
我帮你们叫车 我给你们拿衣服 I got you a car, I brought you your clothes,
你们泡了他妈的泡泡浴 you took a fucking bubble bath!
你们想要的 你们爬到我身上来 You wanted it! You wanted it! You came on to me!
我应该怎么做 What was I supposed to do?
你们含我的鸡巴 你们都他妈的含我的鸡巴 You sucked my cock, you both fucking sucked my cock!
这就像是免费披萨 他妈的免费披萨 It was free pizza! Free fucking pizza!
你们就凭空出现在我门口 It just shows up at my fucking door!
我应该怎么做 What am I supposed to do?
“我们是空姐 老爸 草我们 "We're flight attendants. Come on, fuck us!
没人会知道 来吧 草我们” "No one will know. Come on, fuck us!"
噢 2P 3P都无所谓 Oh, twosomes, threesomes. It doesn't matter!
海星 丈夫 你们都不在乎 Starfish! Husbands! You don't give a fuck,
你们什么都能草 you'll just fuck anything, you'll just fuck anything!
好吧 我想帮助你们 你们欺骗我 Well, you lied to me, I tried to help you!
我让了你们进来 I let you in,
我是个好人 好父亲 I was a good guy, I'm a good father!
而你们就把我给草了 And you just fucking fucked me!
什么 现在你们要杀了我 What? Now, you're gonna kill me!
你们要杀了我 为什么 You're gonna kill me? Why?
为什么 因为你们草了我 Why? 'Cause you fucked me?
我草...这是什么鬼理由 What the fuck-fuck-fuck, this is fucking insane!
你将在黎明被处决 You're to be executed at dawn.
如果我是你 If I were you,
我不会浪费最后几小时来哭 I wouldn't waste my last few hours crying about it.
很抱歉 爸爸 I'm sorry, Daddy.
这是唯一出路 It is the only way.
贝尔 Bel?
我的天 我的天 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
我的天 Oh, my God!
视频通话 凯伦 FaceTime. Karen!
视频通话 凯伦 FaceTime. Karen.
挖坟墓还真他妈的累 Digging a grave is fucking tiring.
而且很肮脏 And filthy.
你老婆的衣服要拿去干洗了 Your wife's clothes are gonna need dry cleaning.
那是什么声音 What's that?
你不能用平板电脑 埃文 You can't have access to an iPad, Evan.
你会影响到小孩子的 You could be trying to reach a child.
面对现实吧 埃文 你是个怪物 Let's face it, Evan. You're a monster.
还是我应该叫你怪物 Or should I say monster!
什么 What?
怪物很惊讶 Monster surprised?
你们怎么知道那游戏的 How do you know about that?
噢 怪物很困惑 Oh, monster confused!
你们怎么知道那游戏的 How the fuck do you know that!
怪物会很安静的 Monster will be quiet!
你们监视我 You spied on me?
监视我的小孩 On my kids?
我的天 Oh, my fucking God!
我的天啊 Oh, my fucking God! Jesus!
我真他妈的笨 I'm so fucking stupid!
对 你是很笨 Yeah, you are.
怪物智障 Monster retarded.
去换衣服吧 我感觉好恶心 Let's change, I feel gross.
看看这些衣服 Look at all this shit.
这就是你 埃文 This is you, Evan.
这将会是你的头 你这死骗子 This is gonna be your little fucking head, you fucking cheater!
我很喜欢这颜色 红色是我的最爱 I love this color! Red's my favorite!
- 不 不 - 你的葬礼一定很漂亮 - No! No! - Gotta be pretty for your funeral.
他的头发真长 He's so hairy.
不 No!
你不会想失去耳朵吧 You don't wanna lose an ear.
别动 Hold still.
好了 你看起来真漂亮 There we go. You look pretty.
这是可爱的埃文 There's Evan cutie!
你做到了 There you have it.
噢 现在我们看到你漂亮的脸蛋了 Oh, now we see your pretty face.
死婊子 Fucking bitches!
“我喜欢乙烯基播出来的声音 我是埃文” "I love the sound of vinyl. I'm Evan."
看着这个 埃文 Watch this, Evan.
中大奖了 Jackpot!
这是真的 Is that real?
把这藏在玩具里真聪明啊 埃文 What a clever way to hide this from the kids, Evan!
你知道吗 大多数枪杀案死的都是枪支的拥有者 You know, most firearm deaths are a family member of the gun owner.
我就没有枪 I don't own a gun.
这很危险 It's dangerous.
解开他 Untie him.
- 你确定 - 对 - Are you sure? - Yeah.
乔纳森 求你别拿枪指着我 Genesis, please don't point that at me.
我知道 I know,
这作弊了 我们还有90分钟 it's cheating. We still have 90 minutes.
但你对我们还有所隐瞒 埃文 But you were keeping secrets from us, Evan.
如果你在我们之前拿到枪 Had you gotten to this before us
我不认为我们还有这段对话了 I don't think we'd be having this conversation.
而你不会这样对我们 And you wouldn't do the same?
我不像你 埃文 I'm not like you, Evan.
我没有枪 我不开枪射人 I don't own a gun, I don't shoot people.
我确信地狱不会为我的利益而改变规矩的 I sure as hell don't bend the rules for my own convenience.
解开他 贝尔 Untie him, Belly.
我不想他踢我 I don't want him to kick me.
她不会的 He won't.
他踢 我开枪 He kicks, I shoot.
他很明白 He knows that.
不是吗 埃文 Don't you, Evan?
你想怎么样 What do you want?
我想玩捉迷藏 I wanna play hide and seek.
什么 What?
30秒 只能在屋里 Thirty seconds. Only inside the house.
你跑出屋里 我开枪 You leave the house, I shoot.
你们找到我会做什么 What're you gonna do when you find me?
好吧 如果我们日出前找不到你 Well, if we don't find you by sunrise,
我们就离开 we'll leave.
- 瞎扯 - 30秒 快去 - Bullshit. - Thirty seconds. Go! Go!
- 开始 - 开始 - Go! - Go!
30 29...
28 27...
26 25...
24 23 22...
开始 Go!
准备好没有 我们来了 Ready or not? Here we come!
埃文 Evan!
你躲不了我们的 You can't hide from us.
我们来了 Here we come.
埃文 Evan?
我们能闻到你 埃文 We can smell you, Evan.
爸爸 Daddy?
嘘 在这 Psst! In here.
- 埃文 - 噢 埃文 - Evan? - Oh, Evan?
你在这吗 怪物 Are you here, monster?
埃文 Evan?
该死的 Shit!
埃文 Evan!
对 他出去了 别跑 Yeah, there he goes! Stop!
别跑埃文 Evan! Stop!
我草 Oh, fuck!
别动 Don't fucking move!
救命啊 救命啊 Help me! Help me!
- 随你怎么叫吧 - 救命啊 - Scream all you fucking want! - Help me!
没有人在家 我们查看过所有房子了 No one's fucking home! We tried every house!
你准备好了吗 Are you ready!
求你们别这样 Please don't do this!
- 是时候说再见了 - 求求你们 - Time to say goodbye! - Please! Please!
救命啊 Help!
救救我 Help me!
拜托了 有人来救我吗 Please, somebody help me!
你有宗教信仰吗 Are you religious?
救命 求求来人救我啊 Help! Please somebody, help!
求你们放我走吧 Please, let me go!
救命啊 快来人救我啊 Help! Please help me! Somebody help me!
不要 救命啊 No! Help me!
不要 不要 No! No! No! No! No!
不要 救命啊 No, help! Help!
1 2 3 One, two, three!
那么埃文 我们有伤到你的肩膀吗 So Evan, did we hurt your shoulder?
我们想你感觉舒适 埃文 We want you to be comfy, Evan.
救命啊 Help! Help!
别动 埃文 泥土会弄到你的眼睛里的 Don't move, Evan. You might get dirt in your eyes.
对 闭上眼睛吧 宝贝 Yeah, close your eyes, baby.
救命啊 Help! Help!
救命啊 Help!
救命啊 Help! Help! Help!
求求你们 Please. Please.
求求你们 别这样 Please. Please, don't do this.
求你了 贝尔 求求你 Please! Bel. Please.
他好像想跟我们沟通哦 It looks like he's trying to communicate.
求求你 Please.
如果你保证守规矩 我就把你口中的拿掉 If you promise to behave, I'll take out the gag.
好的 Okay.
别这样 求你了 Don't do this. Please?
我会做任何你想的事 I'll do whatever you want.I'll do whatever you want.
任何事 Whatever!
埃文打电话给你家人告诉他们你对我们做什么了 Even calling your family and telling them everything you did to us?
好 Yes.
好的 我会告诉他们 Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell them.
我会告诉他们 I'll tell them.
好吧 我们给他生命一线 Okay, let's give him a lifeline.
我喜欢这环节 我们来看看吧 I love the lifeline part. Let's see.
但生命一线是通话而已 But the lifeline is a phone call.
不是视频通话 Not FaceTime.
你老婆不会看见你现在的模样 Your wife's not gonna see you like this.
嗨 我是凯伦 阿尔瓦拉多 Hi, this is Karen Alvarado,
请留言或发短信给我 再见 please leave a message or send a text. Ciao.
开始说啊 Go ahead, talk.
亲爱的 我很抱歉我要告诉你 Honey. I'm sorry for what I'm gonna tell you.
他们逼我的 They made me.
草 Fuck!
报警 Call 911!
- 报警 我被两个女孩... - 埃文 埃文... - Call 911! I've been kidnapped... - Evan, Evan...
- ...绑架了 - 埃文 - ...by two girls! - Evan!
报警 Call 911!
- 报警 - 不 不 不 埃文 - Call 911! - No, no, no, Evan!
- 你破坏了规则 - 埃文 你为什么这样做 - You broke the rule. - Evan, why did you do that?
好了 现在她会找到你们的 Well, now she'll fucking find you!
不会哦 Not really.
接到留言信箱我就挂电话了 我知道你会喊救命的 I hung up as soon as it hit voice mail. I knew you'd pussy out.
这这死妓女 You fucking whores!
你这死妓女 You fucking whores!
我会杀了你们 你们这死婊子 I'll fucking kill you, you fucking-fuck bitch cunt!
我会杀了你们 你们这死婊子 I'll fucking kill you! You fucking bitches!
噢 看看埃文 看看他 Oh, there's Evan. There he is!
我们会想你的 We missed you.
死妓女 Fucking whores!
敲门 Knock-knock!
我说敲门 I said knock-knock.
不 No!
我不觉得他能说话 I don't think he can talk.
好吧 敲门 Okay. Knock-knock.
是谁 Who's there?
- 偷腥埃文 - 哪个偷腥埃文 - Cheating Evan. - Cheating Evan who?
偷腥的“真埃文”要死了 Cheating "Evan-tually" gets you killed.
不 不 No! No!
- 准备好了吗 埃文 - 不 - Ready, Evan? - No!
不 No!
- 1 - 不 - One! - No!
- 2 - 下手啊 - Two. - Do it!
- 不 不 - 3 - No! No! - Three!
看看他的表情 Look at his face.
我们耍到你了 We got you good.
你不是真认为我们要杀你吧 You didn't really think we were gonna kill you, did you?
我们不是禽兽 We're not animals.
这只是个游戏 埃文 It was just a game, Evan.
游戏 游戏 A game? A game?
你知道什么吗 You know what?
有那么一瞬间 我以为你会拒绝的 For a moment, I thought you were the one who'd say no.
而我们要跟其他人玩游戏 And now we have to play a game with someone else.
你知道有趣的是什么吗 他们从不拒绝 You know what's funny? They never say no.
无论谁都不会拒绝 No matter who they are.
无论他们有多爱他们的家人 No matter how much they love their families.
你们都一样 You're all the same.
拜 埃文 Bye, Evan.
你是我的最爱 You were my favorite.
噢 Oh!
祝我生日快乐吧 我下星期就22岁了 Wish me happy birthday. I turn 22 next week.
是的 Yeah.
我18岁那时我就吓坏了 I freaked out when I turned 18.
但你让我感觉我再回到15岁 谢谢你 埃文 But you made me feel 15 again.Thanks, Evan.
我们走吧 Let's get out of here.
我差点忘记了 对 你的电话 Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, your phone.
你知道吗 你真的应该小心点脸书 You know you really should be more careful with Facebook.
如果你不登出有人可以用来做很可怕的事 If you don't log out someone could do terrible things with it.
发了些私人的东西让你的朋友看见 Post something really personal for all your friends to see.
仔细看 好让你记得我们 Look closely. So you'll remember us.
对 埃文 草她 Yes, Evan, fuck her!
草我吧 爸爸 Fuck me, Daddy!
好的 Okay.
好样的 埃文 草她 Attaboy, Evan. Fuck her!
草我 草我 Fuck me! Fuck me!
我相信你会很喜欢的 I'm sure you'll get a lot of likes though.
小狗式 贝尔 Doggy style, Belly!
慢慢看 Enjoy!
噢 Oh!
拜 埃文 我们会想你的 Bye, Evan! Muah! We'll miss you!
噢 Oh!
不 No!
噢 不 Oh, no!
草我吧 爸爸 Fuck me, Daddy!
天啊 God, God!
把袋子放到你们的房里 然后再上厕所 Take your bags to your rooms. Then go use the bathroom.
然后我们再去看猴子 And then we're gonna go see Monkey, okay?
- 你们累吗 - 累 - Are you guys tired? - Yeah!
猴子 Monkey?
爸爸开派对了 Daddy had a party.